The hardest part for most of us is finding the “good” in being alone. As soon as we go into a break up or we lose whoever it is that was closest to us, it’s like we lose a part of our identity.
We go from having that constant contact all day, every day.. to our phones drying up like the Sahara Desert.
And instead of us automatically jumping on the new opportunity of open time slots in our calendars, we fall into a sulking depression and get lost in the gut wrenching mental thought of “I’m alone”.
“Healthy, resilient people respond to normal loneliness by resolving it. Unhealthy people become overwhelmed by it.”
There are so many benefits of taking time to ourselves and actually learning to thrive. You learn so much about yourself. What your strengths and your weaknesses are– and even what you’re insecure about.
Im here to share with you the 13 reasons of how I acquired happiness and learned to thrive in my “alone time” and not dwell in it.
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You’re Good Enough by Yourself
Why is it that we ever seek our worth in another person anyways? Is it a social stigma? Is it because that’s what all of the romcom’s have set our expectations up for?
I’ve always said that until you complete yourself 100%, you can never be with someone anyways. Because you don’t have the correct amount of self love and self worth in you to make sure you’re content without basing your daily enjoyment, on them.
You are enough. You DO NOT ever need anyone to complete you.
Complete yourself, first.
Learn to Be an Observer
So many times, especially in a a relationship or friendship, we forget that there’s another person. We forget that they have feelings, opinions and desires just like we do.
When they’re gone, it gives us an opportunity to become an observer. To learn to watch and understand those around us. How they act, feel and what they want. Which in return, makes us a better person because we learn to put others first.
Appreciate the Silence
We hate being alone because it’s… well… lonely. It’s quiet. And that quietness drives our minds insane. It creates this sense that we need to have something that we’re supposed to be doing.
Ever heard the phrase, “idle hands is the devils playground”? Well..
“Loneliness is the devil’s playground”
We start missing said person, which can start a whole domino effect of bad things.
SO.
Learn to appreciate the silence and keep yourself busy.
- Read a book
- Find a new Netflix series
- Start a blog
- Start a workout routine
- Go for longer walks
The possibilities are endless. But do not, I repeat, do not– sit in silence and dwell in your “misery”. It will only make things worse.
Use Time to Think Good & Actionable Thoughts
Like I mentioned before, are you happy and fulfilled?
And no, I don’t mean by external factors. I’m talking are you 100% happy and fulfilled with who you are at your core level? Who you are as a person, what you bring to the table, what it is that people think of when they hear your name..
Are you proud of that? Should you keep doing what you’re doing? Are you unsatisfied? Should something change?
I ask you all of these questions to pique your brain. Into thinking “growth thoughts”. Good and positive actionable thoughts.
Take this time to focus on what you CAN change and take complete control over to benefit your life for the better.
Pursue a New Future
Think of this bump in the road as a new fork in the road.
You have a complete new opportunity with zero strings holding you back, to do something new and exciting.
Have you been questioning a job transfer? A new state? Heck, even a new city less than an hour away?
Well, now you have you and only you to worry about. You can do what it is that YOU want to do.
Take Advantage of Freedom
How many times do we get told “no” or have someone step in the way of doing something that we actually want to do? When you have the freedom of being alone… you can make the choice to go and do as you please, with no one standing in the way.
You Don’t Seek Other People
I don’t know about you, but there have been many times that I have sought out other people solely for the fact of feeling lonely. When you can sit on the couch and be thoroughly happy at the thought of your big couch all to yourself with a warm fuzzy blanket and a movie playing… that’s when you know you’re successful, my friend.
You Find Your Own Way Out
Of loneliness, that is. Of fear. You stop allowing someone else to be that escape for you. You learn to turn to yourself for direction and understanding of what it is you should do next.
Build A Relationship with Yourself
This is one of my favorites. Start investing in yourself! Because you deserve it! We spend so. much. time. on other people. Giving and putting out effort that we can never get back. We alot of the times neglect our own self love, self care and self worth. Start focusing on what it is that YOU want and what YOU need.
Nobody Can Make You Feel Bad About It
Once you embrace your loneliness, no one– not one single person– can make you feel bad about it. It’s so courageous and inspiring to overcome something that once made you feel so low and worthless. Rock that independence and confidence!
No Compromise for Someone Else
As I stated earlier, you no longer have to build your life or compromise around someone else. If you want to go out for a burger, go for a dang burger. If you want to take a week vacation to the beach, guess what? You don’t have to wait on that other person to take off from work. DO YOU!
You Learn to Let Go
Finally learning to detach yourself from things is the best feeling. Especially when that comes to detaching yourself from another human. We NEVER need someone else to thrive. You should always have enough confidence to learn to let go and be happy on your own path and to the beat of your own drum!
Being Alone Boosts Your Self Esteem
Being alone does not mean that you are unwanted or unloved. When you’re alone you can learn to reverse negative self talk and cognitive distortions. You begin to boost your own self esteem and learn to be that positive uplifter when things tend to not go your way.
Now, I’m not saying all of these happened over night. They surely did not. It took alot of time, soul searching and realizing what I want, what I deserve and what I refuse to settle for.
I promise if you will stay patient with yourself and focus on what it is that you truly want, you can and will be successful in finding happiness within yourself! Without anyone standing beside you!
Comment your thoughts!